Out of Nowhere

Emotions can hit you out of nowhere - happy, sad, everything in between. I’ve been getting sucker-punched by those sad ones for a while now; ever since pop’s health started to decline and even more after he passed away. I’ll be driving home after a full day, or sitting down watching a movie, or eating at a restaurant enjoying a meal, or lying in bed before going to sleep, or any number of other things when I’m ambushed, when out of nowhere it hits me. Hard. The fact that I won’t ever be able to see him again, that I won’t ever be able to talk to him again, that I won’t ever be able to hug him again. It breaks my heart each and every time.

People don’t like talking about loss and grief, but it’s important to discuss them all the same. People don’t like feeling loss and grief, but those emotions are important to feel all the same. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, it’s paralyzing. It takes every color you’ve ever known and turns them all to gray. Don’t try to shut off these emotions for too long, if you do, I don’t think you can ever truly move forward. I’m trying my best to face them, and yes, I’m getting back up with broken bones and bruises, but at least I’m getting back up again.